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Even more of a challenge to personal relationships is a lawyer’s tendency to communicate in critical, or demanding, terms.For a relationship with a lawyer to flourish, there must be space to forget about thinking critically about everything.Underlying these sentiments is the assumption that the lawyers in, or being considered for, a relationship actually want to be lawyers, rather than just people who went to law school for lack of a more compelling alternative at the time.It is important to realize that good lawyers are usually very hard workers, and obsessive about delivering results for their clients.Over the past few weeks, I have discussed disparate personality traits that I have seen displayed by lawyers, for good and for ill.
Instead, he was issuing us a challenge: to maintain mutually fulfilling personal relationships, despite being trained as a lawyer.It is also critical to work towards bringing constant demonstration of the positive ones into your relationship, while limiting demonstration of any negative ones, of course.Ultimately, every person brings good and bad qualities to a relationship, as we are all human.The challenge to treat your significant other with at least, if not more, respect than what you give to colleagues and clients is an ever-present one. But you can definitely control whether your spouse is happy to be married to one.You can shirk that responsibility, or recognize that nurturing your relationships is your surest path to happiness. Gaston Kroub lives in Brooklyn and is a founding partner of Kroub, Silbersher & Kolmykov PLLC, an intellectual property litigation boutique.
In fact, I think the mutual understanding about how hard it is to actually “be a lawyer” is a big factor in creating lawyer-lawyer relationships in the first place.